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SE Logo & The Lost Cat Kidney

Just a logo concept I really liked and decided to put up. One sort of person I’ll never be sorry for again, students. Seriously. They’d get months to do a logo, and still somehow leave it till the last minute.
It’s officially been over 9 months since I started here and I think I’m in a groove at the moment. I’m getting plenty of opportunities to indulge my font fetish.
It was my birthday a few days ago. I’m all of 24 and still no broken bones, although I have been embracing the working stiff lifestyle, so the chances of breaking bones has diminished unfortunately. It’s all a little bit sad. The other day I was walking home and I realised I’d hardly be able to jump over the tall recycle bins like I used to. I’d probably be able to jump inside the bins, but that extra two feet to clear it may be a bit much.
I’m generally pretty secretive about my birthday, I don’t like making a fuss about it because it means I need to do things and peoples evening hinges on me to much. And I just can’t handle that sort of pressure. What if it sucks and everyone goes “Man, remember that day 24 years after Izak was born, didn’t it suck?” “It did. Let us curse that day and all those who are spawned on it.”
So Becky needed to ring work and tell them about it. She gave specific instructions to humiliate me.
The guys at work coerced me into buying them a round after work on Friday as a way of celebrating my birthday. I exclaimed that this was bullshit and that there had been some sort of perversion of tradition. I went along with it anyway, getting to the ol’ Sprig & Fern again I ordered up some Pilsners that came to 49 bucks. I was pulling out my card when Andre valiantly told me to put it away. He’s a legend and a tease.
I was telling them I should really get my mum a birthday present on my birthday, because she’s the one that did all the work, I just made the whole situation worse by crying and stuff. Just as the waitress came to put chips on our table I exclaimed, “I mean, I RUINED HER VAGINA.”
The guys then decided I had humiliated myself and their mission from Becky had been fulfilled. I begged to differ. Humiliation could not be pronounced or prescribed upon someone if they didn’t feel it.

Hey Arnold Smoking it Up

So then I proceeded to tell them “the lost cat Kidney” story. I had a look through the blogs archives and I couldn’t see it anywhere, I guess because the event occured prior to the creation of this blog, which is good. Because this story needs a modicum of time distance seperation so I don’t come under the full brunt of peoples ridicule and aghastness. So here it is.
I was working at Allied Workforce at the time, and I was waiting for my temporary employer for the day to come pick me up from the main road which swishes past my little street. On a signpost nearby was a missing cat poster, an idea that had been given to me some time ago came rattling to the top of my conciousness “I have to do this!” I thought to myself. I deftly typed in the number provided and wrote the message “Your cat has the biggest Kidney I have ever seen.”
A little while later I received the text (I’m paraphrasing, this was a while ago) “Your a sick fuck! You ate my cat!” I think it was a bit longer than that, but that’s what it boiled down to.
Near the end of the day I recieved a call from the SPCA. A lady with a stern voice ascertained who I was and asked me if I had contacted someone earlier that day, to which I admitted to straight away. The voice told me the person was pretty upset by the whole thing and some people actually love their pets. I sincerely apologized as much as I could and the SPCA let it drop, which was awfully nice.
I was going to buy the address some chocolates and leave it in their letterbox. But I didn’t.

I’d like to clear some things up however. I totally didn’t try and infer I ate the cats Kidney. They extrapolated to a wrong conclusion. If I HAD seen their cats Kidney, I probably wouldn’t have sent that text. If it was a person who was missing, I wouldn’t have sent that sort of text, even if I had seen their kidney.
Anyway, I know this is a story which makes me look like an asshole. But it happened, so it should be written down.

 

 

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