We’ve all been in this position. People shouldn’t have real names anyway, their names should just be a collection of things you know about them. One of Becky’s friends I know only as Spiderman purely because once she wore a spiderman outfit with fake muscles in it. There used to be a homeless guy in the city who’s dreadlocks were so matted together people called him Mono-dread. This is an ideal name, because as long as he sticks to his own personal brand people will know who he is.

If you want me to remember your name I recommend getting a sweet scar, or perhaps wear an animal onesy for the rest of your life. Tron Guy knows what’s up.