You know you’ve become a true fan when you find yourself googling Devs and ratting through their profile like your madly swipping through an exes Instagram page.

But lets start where it all began, the stalking of devs I mean not the stalking of Exes I’m not ready to discuss the restraining order just yet.

Pseudoregalia is a 3D platformer designed for people who like tight movement and big goat asses, which according to steam reviews and YouTube videos is everybody.

The game has an overwhelmingly positive on Steam and is stupid cheap. It costs less than a hypothetical Banana on Arrested Development.

Aesthetically it pulls from 5th gen consoles N64 and PS1. Even to the point you can have a toggle for low rez scanlines and framerate which I uh, turned off immediately.

The initial game was made for a metroidvania game jam and the final release was cleaned up and expanded leading to about six hours of getting lost in a low poly castle without a god damn map.

The levels naturally open up after finding new moves that expand your movement toolkit. Sometimes you’ll hit a challenge and you’ll have to decide whether you can’t do it because your an idiot or because you don’t have the necessary move to glide through, which is how I feel during most social interactions. Chaining these moves together makes you feel like a bad ass as you gain the ability to get lost even faster than before.

I don’t recommend leaving big gaps of time between play sessions like I did, because you’re totally going to forget what’s up. Or forward.

Rittzlers next game can already be wishlisted and you should totally go do that now. It’s a “shit I wish I thought of that” game. It’s a 3D platformer roguelike where you cobble together your Moveset and conquer generated levels on your own terms. It looks fucking awesome and just look how delicious that movement is already feeling. It looks as smooth as a laminated babies bottom.

But that’s not even the game I’m excited for, even though I can see myself dropping a ton of time into it. If you dip into his itch page you can find a bunch of projects including one called Blazing Dynamo. Playing the prototype for a few hours was some of the most casual fun I’ve had in a game for a while, which is saying a lot considering the game is entirely made of placeholder assets. The robot’s animations are polished to a disgustingly good level for a tech demo though.

Rittz can poop winning character designs for breakfast, and I’m here with my bib tucked in ready to eat shit.

After you complete the tutorial it lets you know that there’s a ton of moves that you probably won’t figure out immediately, and I was like “I’ve been playing games all my life I think I know oh- oh my god. Look at all this shit.”

Seriously look at this list. Last time I was this intimidated a dude on the street forced me into supporting greenpeace for a year.

The game has a larger scope than his other smaller tighter games, so it’s been parked for now while he works on those other ideas. The plan is to come back to it when he has a team and presumably the money and resources for it.

I love what he’s got so far so I hope it happens but also I know how artists are. We’re fickle bitches and as he said on his twitter he might just release “a foddian punch out game or some shit in a week and you’ll just have to deal with it.”

Initially when I conceived this video I was going to pose that rittzler was the future king of 3D platforming, on the proviso that his next few games hit as hard as pseudoregalia. He honestly has the raw talent to pull that off I think. I feel like that is enough of a disclaimer to make that claim reasonable but also I’ve decided that I’m not encyclopedic enough on the genre to have the authority to bestow that sort of title. Platformers are a genre everyone thinks they can have an opinion on because they grew up on Mario64 and Spyro and shit. But coming in with those credentials is like walking into the UN with your cross country running participation certificate and asking for a job.

So, I’ll just leave this paragraph here in a non committal sort of way and if it turns out to be true I’ll totally claim it later.

If anyone in the comments is obsessive about this genre school me in the comments, please! Hit me with a shindlers list of 3D platformers to save.

The moral of this story is I’m done with this video now goodbye.