I have a new drinking game for you all. I’m not into my drinking games as I don’t need an excuse to drink and/or game but here it is. Now I know that drinking games are usually just for young 20-somethings with a few social hang ups buried deep down inside them, but bare with me. I do nothing to dissuade that presumption but this is still a valid coping mechanism.

First of all, find a problem that can only be fixed by calling some terrible customer support phone line. This can include querying government departments about absolutely anything, or having an internet connection that now inexplicably doesn’t work.

Warm up with a quick shot. Now take a shot whenever:

  1. The music loops or switches to a new song.
  2. An automated message tells you “things are real busy but we’ll be with you soon!”
  3. your call gets redirected to another department

When you eventually get a human being and not a computer make sure you yell “You brought this on yourself!!!”* they will understand.

Win conditions

  1. Both sides win if customer support successfully helps you through your problem despite your disability of being completely inebriated.
  2. The call center wins if you pass out/fall asleep still on the line. This can be officiated by them yelling “Three! Two! One! He’s Oooouuut!” wrestle styles.

Repeat bouts are admissible but not recommended if you’re at work or are still feeling the effects of the last round.

Now calling up customer support will now be something you look forward to!

*Maybe don’t yell at customer support. Their job sucks enough without us making it worse for them.