We’re only a few weeks out from the freakin’ presidential election on November 8th. Personally I can’t wait till it’s all over so we can all stop talking about it, but until then we must all soldier on. Currently Clinton appears to be polling ahead of Trump in perhaps the most divisive election in living memory.

I sat down with two of our writers, Haines and O’Tine to pick their brains about what’s going down.

Who do you think is going to win the election, and why?

Kristof Haines: There could always be surprises. But it is looking like things have tipped in Clinton’s favour.

Nick O’Tine: I honestly don’t know who will win. I hope Trump does though. If Clinton wins, it’d be from misled beliefs and the media’s successful character assassination of Trump. If Trump wins, it’d be from people actually voting for reform despite the obviously biased coverage of his antics. Stein isn’t even in the picture.

KH: When you say “the media’s successful character assassination of Trump”… There’s no doubt the media have ragged on him mercilessly, thanks to him being such an easy clickbait target, but honestly nobody respected him before the campaign.


NO: No arguments there. But I would’ve thought the whole email saga would’ve been enough to drop her from the race. Evidently not. And I’m still having a hard time getting over how Rubio and the other GOP runners fell out. It’s been a campaign of bickering and childish attempts at denigrating the opposition, by both sides. It’s literally a choice of who’s going to fuck the American people up the ass less rough. At least Trump will have the common courtesy of giving people a reach-around.

I’ve heard proponents for both sides say that their candidate has talked policy while the other has only talked smack. Who do you think has actually talked policy the most during the debates?

NO: From what I’ve read, Trump lacks details on how he’ll achieve his goals. That’s to be expected to some degree, since he’s not a career politician. Clinton didn’t help herself win over people on the fence though.

KH: I can’t remember either of them going deeper than catchphrases.


In 2012 47% of people wanted a major third party to vote for. This election, faced with two turds to vote for the number has crept up to 57%. Do you think the rise of a third party is even possible?

NO: People wanting something and acting on it are two different things. They want a third party but I doubt it’d have majority or even minor support.

KH: It would take a major party collapse.

Do you think that either of these two could have a second term in them?

KH: Trump could.

NO: If either of them do decide to pursue a second term, they’d be up against Kanye. I’m just waiting for the Four Horsemen.

KH: Clinton is massively unpopular across a broad spectrum, and will inevitably become more unpopular (as virtually every president does) while in office. Trump is also divisive, but he has a much more passionate support base. Plus you have only to look at Clinton’s campaign slogan “Love trumps fear” [sic]. No it does not (not to mention there’s nothing of love about her campaign). But Trump majors on fear, which is very effective, and gaining the presidency will enable him to widen existing rifts in a self-fulfilling, fear-feeding prophesy.


NO: If there’s anything that motivates the indolent masses, it’s an all-encompassing fear of some abstract bogeyman. In the 50s it was the Communists. Later, terrorists. Now, Russians and Mexicans. Chomsky was right.

As part Mexican, should we be afraid of you Kristof?

KH: That’s the least relevant reason for you to be afraid of me.

How many jobs do you reckon you could steal and still be too lazy to do?

KH: Loads. Imma just sit on them like a dragon’s hoard.