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Facebook Trending Team Fired, Algorithm Posts About Masturbating With Hamburger As Retaliation

Facebook announced on the 26th that they removed some of the human element from the Facebook Trending section. The trending sidebar first became a big deal earlier this year after allegations said that the people curating the trending section were doing so in a biased manner, as naughty little humans normally do. Facebook refuted this and said that they “found no evidence of systematic bias” which calls into question the very humanity of these now jobless ex-employees, as they must be the only unbiased people on the planet.

Today The Guardian pointed out that since slimming down on human curators there’s an influx at least three questionable posts making their way into the trending feed. Most notably a post which was an entire fabrication about Fox newscaster Megyn Kelly getting fired for being cozy with Hillary Clinton and a story about a man jacking himself off with a McChicken burger.

McChicken
Somehow “Go Topless Day” was beaten by the most unfortunate McChicken on the planet.

The Facebook announcement pointed out that the “list of topics you see is still personalized based on a number of factors, including Pages you’ve liked, your location (e.g., home state sports news), the previous trending topics with which you’ve interacted, and what is trending across Facebook overall.”

Sam Thielman, writer at The Guardian, didn’t mention whether he’d recently liked numerous Facebook pages related to makeshift food based fleshlights. The article could have just as easily been titled “Crazy Shit Facebook is Showing Me Today”. He didn’t even mention it was “Go Topless Day” which is far bigger news to me than anything else that’s been written here so far. Perhaps a followup article should include screenshots of ads he’s currently being served. There’s probably a story in that.

Real humans are still being used to keep an eye on the algorithm and are being made to follow Facebooks public trending review guidelines.

Back to the real story here, here’s the guy [warning very nsfw] totally dominating the chicken burger. This raises a lot of questions, such as “why?” and “but if I had to, what sort of burger would I choose?”

Burgers recommended for this activity should include low end burgers with little filling to minimize mess but enough to act as lubrication. Chicken burgers may not be the best first choice due to crums, salts, and the possibility of spices. A cheese burger may work or as my coworker suggested “a Filet-o-Fish®.”

In the meantime Facebook will “monitor the feedback.”