Going back to an old haunt can be a bittersweet experience. Trees you never really paid much attention too are conspicuously missing, changing the skyline, and the fun vibes you used to get with your friends in the place are notably absent. Maybe the worst part is trying to recreate those moments, only to create a horrible pastiche of the past. Think about that next time you’re chugging down a couple bourbons at your old daycare center.

Isn’t “kindergarten” the most proudly German word you’ve ever heard? I feel like words like dauchshund got watered down too much during the wars, “Liberty pups”, seriously? “Liberty measles“??? I mean, no one calls them Liberty pups anymore, but Sausage Dog is way too fun not to use.