This is based on a true story. This is based on every story of me eating sushi. I just don’t see the point in using chopsticks when the sushi itself is so well contained. I realise this makes me a barbarian, but I don’t want to be my reason for why I can’t eat sushi faster. They’re like oriental versions of our asia-pacific Sausage rolls, which even the Queen will tell you are pretty primo ae.
Why did I even bother writing the transcript?