These are not the words of Kristof, but rather of his wife, Zara. But as we are One Flesh you can continue to gaze upon his Bearded Image. But know that it is I, a Woman, who writes; and I am Bearded not.
Hearken, all ye with eyes to read! In the Long Ago, the far-off days of Early October, before Halloween had yet happened and Malls bedecked with Christmas Decorations would have been considered Tawdry and In Bad Taste, Kristof was moaning the lack of Inspiration for this year’s Christmas comic. Oh! His woe, his misery!
I took it upon myself to be a worthy Helpmeet.
I consumed Beer and Possibly also Gin, until my mind became Heady and Light. Something akin to a Cigarette, though Tobacco it did not contain, may have passed my lips and bestowed upon me great Wisdom. I held nothing back in my Desire to aid my Husband in his Travails.
And, Lo, Inspiration struck! A joke flowed from me with Ease, and Kristof did Laugh Heartily.
But weeks did pass, and Kristof yet lamented the lack of a Christmas Comic.
And I said unto him, dost thou recall my words, Stop Following Me? And he again Chuckled, yet to Izak and Becky mentioned not my words.
December came, and again Kristof bewailed and Quivered with Fear, for the Christmas comic had not been written.
And I did Shout, Stop Following Me! And as Kristof was engaged in Skype with Izak and Becky, they did at last hear my words.
And they thought them good.