I’ve been seeing a lot of posts online recently featuring people lamenting the belief that their Fitbit made them fat. Naturally, I click on them and see if there’s any form of scientific reasoning behind the claims, and what I find is downright hilarious.

The vast majority of the people complaining (my university education has me in the habit of not talking in absolutes like a Sith, even though every single goddamn post is this) say that their Fitbit is a great tool but it gives them “reason to binge eat.” That’s fucking bullshit.

The Fitbit is a tool. It’s not a magical thing that will take your weight and put it somewhere that isn’t your gut, it’s a fitness tool. You put it on every day and try and hit your step goal, and celebrate in the tiny little hit of dopamine when you manage the big 10k. Or, you look at the number and go FUCK, maybe tomorrow. You DON’T then go and binge eat, regardless of your days fitness outcomes.

People who think that the Fitbit acts as a “crutch” are idiots. Everyone burns calories at different rates, and just because Fitbit is telling you to eat more in order to hit your weight goal doesn’t mean you go and smash down 16 boxes of pizza. Everyone who actually researches fitness knows that a major part of getting fit is your diet, roughly 80% or so. This consists of eating well – cleanly, if you will. Not fucking pizza and ice cream (@Amerifats).

I think you’ll find that if you strap the Fitbit back onto your wrist, stop finding ways to offset the blame, and sort your eating habits out, you’ll find the weight loss you desire.

You fatty.