This was an interesting question posed to me by long standing mathematician Matthew Rust. While on the subject of children he queried me, and after I told him not to try any more gay shit on me he asked me why I wanted kids. Wow. That joke just made this whole first paragraph sound.. dirty.
Why do I want kids?
So being the stubborn person I am I side stepped the question cause honestly it isn’t something I haven’t put a whole lot of thought into.
“Do you want kids just because thats what you have been told/or always just expected.” I can’t remember the exact words he said, something to that effect. So now I have composed a list from point A to point Z on why I think I want kids.
A: The process of making children has always appealed to me.
B: I have always wanted little clones of me, since cloning technology hasn’t developed that far yet ill settle for the old method of making people that vaguely resemble me.
C: It’l give me something to do apart from eating/sleeping/working/dieing.
D: Someones gonna have to look after me in my old age, and I don’t think my own parents would be up to the job by then.
E: I want to battle my children against other children to see who’s got superior genes.
F: Gives me an excuse to hang around highschool girls again later on in life.
G: Gives me an excuse to act like a child again myself.
H: Gives me an excuse to wake up every few hours and get grumpy at something apart from car alarms.
I: I want to name something “Morpheus” and I don’t want to waste it on something stupid like a pet or inanimate object.
J: Want something to love.
K: I don’t think there are enough Taylors on the planet yet.
L: Want to show the world I’m serious about having a million babies.
M: Need child to fix and work all the electronic wizardry that will obviously exist in the future that doesn’t exist now and I wont be bothered learning myself.
N: I want to lie to something that would believe anything, and I’m afraid other parents will correct all the mistruths I put into the heads of their own kids.
O: Want to be that dad that kind of frightens the boyfriends of ma daughters.
P: am thankful that I’m alive and assume that they would be to.
Q: Want to see what I missed when I popped out. I don’t really remember it, I don’t mind having a slightly different point of view either.
R: Want to show woman who’s boss by indirectly inflicting great physical pain on them lovingly.
S: Send them to music lessons that they’l absolutely hate until later on in life when they come to be thankful for it.
T: Because it was built into us to procreate, and who am I to argue with that?
U: now that Matts challenged me on this I can’t NOT have kids.
V: want to bless the world with the fruits of my loin.
W: Not abort them and say “These are the ones that are going to cure cancer.”
X: ’cause their cute
Y: wants to know for certain if a babies first poo is green and sticky.
Z: Why do I want kids? “Because I can. (With a little help)”